Bet you thought it wasn’t gonna happen! Well, sorry.

Can it live up to the wait? Never! I finally managed to get about eleven hours of source material down to a barely-listenable half hour. Here’s my notes:

Intro: The real otou-san speaks
Opening theme: “I Think I Can,” The Pillows, from FLCL. Get it? I think YU KAN!
2:40 - Jumping right into the conversation, because the first part was awkward and rough, and not in a really interesting way either.
4:00 – To all you “gentleman bloggers” (as Riex calls you), I actually DO want to have you on.
5:00 - Baka-Raptor enters True Otakudom with Evangelion
7:41 - bad edit, but here’s where it gets… good?
22:00 - Uh oh. The P-word.
23:22 - “She’s Seven!” Isn’t that the point? What does a seven-year-old know?
24:05 - Let’s get inside Baka-Raptor’s head. What’s in there? Kamen No Maid Guy, of course.
25:00 - JLeeson rants on Golgo 13.
26:50 - Baka-Raptor says, watch Garden of Sinners.
27:30 - JLeeson and otou-san say, watch Daughter of 20 Faces.
29:00 - Merciful release! Exeunt, with Maid Guy’s OP “Special Life” by Kotoko

Right now the podPress plugin is not working, so we don’t technically have a “podcast” so much as an “isolated audio file.” I hosted this little bugger on DivShare for the moment. Expect a more elegant solution in the future. You can download at this URL, by clicking the “Download original” link on the right side. Or you can use the handy-dandy Flash player below to listen in your browser.

Most. Awkward. Teatime. Ever.

Bullet train summary version

When last I left everyone, let’s see… Oh no. I’m late again. I fear for my future, what with about 37 or so younger and better-looking bloggers joining Yukan since my last post. Well, I have excuses, but you don’t want to hear them. You want to hear about how the shit hit the fan in the past 3 or 4 episodes of Itazura Na Kiss. And it did.

Naoki decided that he was inspired by Kotoko’s urging and his brother’s illness to become a doctor. After all, he’s smart enough, and he cares so little about everything that a patient dying on him would be an inconvenience at best. Perfect candidate! Plus, with his John Stamos looks and style, once he gets old he can make a comeback on television’s E.R. Unfortunately, his pops ain’t happy about that. In fact, he has a damn heart attack right there.

The irony is, when you have a heart attack, who do you call? That’s right. Doctor. Case closed.

But it’s like some cosmic “Reset” button snaps Naoki out of everything — his aspirations of doctorhood, his growing soft side, and his admission of affection for Kotoko.

So back on the path of inheriting the company it is. In fact, he’s getting talked into an arranged marriage for the convenience of the company. But it gets worse.

Not only is she rich, beautiful, polite, smart, and charming — she’s a Brittanian! Treason! Banzai Nippon!

Seriously, though, Irie meeting Christine-call-me-Chris made for some really really freaking awesome Engrish. Holy. Shit.

Irie and his lovely honky move quickly, and despite Mama Irie’s best efforts to ruin everything, the marriage looks all but inevitable. But is it for the company, or is it for his own feelings, as he insists?

Amidst all this, we have Kin-chan moving in for the kill. As his culinary skills improve and desperation takes hold, he boldly proposes to Kotoko.

And she almost accepts too, but as Kin-chan gets a little too upfront with his advances and she pushes him away, it’s not his name that escapes her mouth. It’s Irie-kun’s, of course.

And then…

The final moment of the final episode of the season is one of those reasons that we, the fans of this series, are in fact fans. We’re brought down to the final depths of despair, in our empathy for poor Kotoko, the spurned Kin-chan, frustrated Mama Irie, Yuuki, and even self-sacrificing Naoki — and then we’re pulled up.

Naysayers will probably see it as an example of predictability. After all, doesn’t it all seem like it’s going to turn out exactly the way it “should?” But we had a hard row to hoe just to get to this point. Itazura has been a subtly (for the genre) emotional show up until now, giving us just the right amount of pathos and near-tragedy so that when a big bomb of an episode like this one drops, it’s that much more powerful. And we’re reminded that, despite heart attacks, appendicitis, and marriage proposals, Engrish moments, and being lost in the woods, everything takes a back seat drama-wise to the central conflict, which remains Kotoko vs. her feelings for Irie.

If the rest of Itazura Na Kiss focuses on the ups and downs in a real relationship after the unrequited part ends (as I believe the manga did), we could be in for a real dip in the enjoyment factor, or a real win for the kind of story that we don’t normally see in anime.

Wait, what? A popped collar? Seriously? Your torturous unrequited love is for a guy who pops his collar?

Funny thing about Itazura na Kiss. It’s not very good-looking, its protagonist is a big dummy, it has no flash factor, and when you get down to it, it covers fairly standard shoujo themes. Sometimes, like right now when real life is super busy, I have a hard time even sitting down to watch it. Oh, Kotoko’s just gonna do something dumb again, isn’t she? But immediately after the credits are over, I am totally won over and 100% ready for the next one.

Is this, perhaps, what Irie-kun is starting to admit to himself as well?

I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Sure, it’s an anime, and yes it’s quite the fantasy romance story, but suspension of disbelief demands that I ask myself: would he really go for her after all this? I think the other viewers of this show would be happy to admit that they hate Kotoko sometimes too — even though you’re rooting for her, the character seems totally willing and more than able to sabotage herself at every possible turn. And yet, there she is, cute and charming at the end of it all. And you just have to love her. So maybe it’s not so far-fetched to think that her fellow characters — tsun-tsun though they may be — could feel the same way we do. Go Kotoko!

I had another secondary thought too. Kotoko’s big success of the past few episodes was saving Yuuki when his intestine got wrapped up in his bowels or whatever (nast…). That was luck. Fate has clearly used Yuuki’s bowels as a hapless pawn, but that means fate is on Kotoko’s side! It’s the universe that fucks things up — it’s her. Anytime things seem to go well, it’s luck, but when shit goes down the can, it’s Kotoko and her well-meaning idiocy.

At any rate, fate seems to be taking a much larger interest in what Kotoko’s doing of late. And, intriguingly,  so has Irie.

So when we achieve success, it won’t be because of Kotoko. It will be in spite of her. But we’ll still love her.

What?

Who is this guy writing this post? What is this show, is it still on? Holy crap! Over here in real-world-land, it’s off the charts. But I’ll spare you the gory details, because you didn’t come here for excuses! You came here for panty-shots and exploding heads, right?

Well, tough shit, because this is Allison & Lillia!

I give myself the challenge of writing 3 sentences about each missed episode, hoping that you good people will forgive me. I realize also that I call you “you good people” now, where a few weeks ago it was “you ungrateful curs.” Such is life. But don’t worry, I’m not crying. It’s just the fickle way of fate, whose mercurial winds have blown the dust of backlogged anime into my eyes. Ow!

Episode 7:

1. She’s not Francesca.
2. Plane race through the town!
3. Benedict is a player with an eye for a grand entrance.

Episode 8:

1. OK, yeah, I’m not her, but I’m her twin sister, I swear.
2. You killed my sister — prepare to die.
3. Why exactly did Nihito fall off the roof when he was standing so far from the edge?

Episode 9:

1. Name me one freaking episode of this show where the characters didn’t sit and drink tea around a table.
2. Glasses: the only disguise you’ll need.
3. Allison in a fancy dress but still wearing army boots may be the remaining reason I watch this show; I know it must fulfill at least one of Shin’s many fetishes.
4. Bonus: Shotguns do not use bullets.

Also: Wil is a big dumb poopyhead, and Allison is fast becoming too cool for her own ever-slipping series. I tagged this post with “guns,” “trains,” and “airplanes,” and yet nothing really exciting happened in any of these episodes.

Bear with me…

It’s a good thing Yukan HQ is a virtual location, because this blog is starting to look like the wackiest place in the otakusphere.

It’s possible that’s because we’re operated by an angry, ailing midget whose hobbies include torturing cartoon bunnies until they kill themselves.

But while all this is going on, I think it’s my duty to add to the insanity. Why beat around the bush, here’s my (fully blissmo-sanctioned) plan:

I can has podcast?

The question is not whether I’m gonna do it, but: Who’s with me?

I’m looking for:

1. Interested Yukan folks to participate/co-host with me.
2. People who are up on their anime news.
3. Other bloggers who aren’t concerned about having their damn gender identified on-air, who want to participate in conversations for the entertainment of the Yukan readership.

My idea:

1. Some news but mostly editorial and discussion
2. Short length, so us ADD people don’t get distracted and turn it off right away
3. A little music
4. A tie-in with the bunny channel in some way, but that’s really up to my small overlord.

My pledge:

1. I will handle the technology side. Anyone who wants on will need only to get on a Skype conference, which I will record.
2. I promise not to talk about Real Drive the whole time.

When I say I’m serious I mean with a capital Youbetcha, so if there is no interest from fellow Yukanners (which I hope there is) then I’ll be getting on this horse from my own blog.

I hope to do this summary in all adjectives.

Nostalgic.

Embarrassing.

Really embarrassing.

Stinky. And cold.

Class War! Not an adjective.

mortifying.

Almost noble, but actually jerky! As usual.

Satisfying! Like crushing a small fruit!

Assertive!

Admirable!

…Well?

What is it? That is the mystery here. Is this about revenge for the picture? Is he really so cold he’d stop her from getting away from him — just so he could continue to torture her? Or does he really want her around? Even if his intentions are somehow good, his mind games seem overly cruel for flirting.

Remember the episode title is “Spiteful Kiss,” or something to that effect. But is that the truth? No matter what, this is a turning point in more than one way.

College is next, and hopefully this is a “real” enough series that we won’t be treated to the old anime “That never happened” trick next episode. What it does look like we’ll be treated to is… another woman. Say, say, say! Hoooooo!

Oh yeah, bonus. Kin-chan’s song was hilarious, especially the shouting backup singer.

Love is hard… TAKE IT FLOM KOTOKO

Rundown

This week, Kotoko becomes horribly obsessed with the notion that she’s a curse on Naoki. Not that, you know, he wouldn’t deserve a curse.

Incident the first: Young Bastard Irie goes to take a final, but before he leaves the house, he mentions a headache. Kotoko gives him some headache pills, but oh no — extreme drowsiness is a side effect.

The upside: Irie passes anyway.

Incident the second: Kotoko makes some chocolates for Irie, with the help of Meddling Ma Irie, who manages to sum up Young Bastard pretty well. She’s frustrated that he doesn’t seem to care about anything because he’s never had to try. This is a great revelation of insight for Kotoko, but she finds it hard to give him the chocolates. After she eats one and gets a horrible stomachache, she can’t manage to do it at all.

The upside: Turns out, the chocolates are fine. It’s her appendix that’s the problem! Oh, ok… wait, is that the upside?

Incident the third: Kotoko makes a good luck charm for Naoki’s bag on his way to the Todai entrance exams, and even insists on accompanying him, because his mother is worried he’s going to skip out. Her good luck charm, however, gets caught in the train doors and they almost miss their stop.

The upside: They get out of the train. However…

Incident the fourth: Kotoko’s stomach pains return, and they’re back for the kill! Though she nobly insists she’s fine, Naoki carries her to the hospital where the appendicitis is revealed. He misses his entrance exam.

At this point, we have the benefit of distance. We can see that things aren’t that bad, but in Kotoko’s eyes, everything has all gone to hell — and it’s all her fault. So she writes a note, packs her things, and decides to leave the Irie house.

The upside: Well, well. This is perhaps the biggest upside of all for our spunky little heroine. As she’s heading down the street, Naoki pokes his head out the window and… well, he may insist he’s not trying to stop her, but he does a damn fine job of stopping her. And he reveals that he purposefully missed the Todai entrance exam. After all, life has been interesting for the first time ever since Kotoko’s been around, so why not possibly go to university with her instead? Wow.

The final stroke, Kotoko makes chocolate again, this time a big one with a giant “Love from Kotoko” on it in tasty looking English.

Or not. In fact, it’s in Engrish, which he’s keen to point out.

Now what?

Well, Naoki gave his usual parting shot, but it was a cute one, and after all she did make the spelling error. And the obligatory “moment” this week? What a fine one. “Persistence is all,” someone once said, and Kotoko’s got it in spades, not to mention a willingness to make Irie a long-term project. High school will be over soon, but her pursuit is still going strong. I’ve said this, but I just love Kotoko. If there’s anyone this season worth rooting for, it’s her.

Note: Something I’m sure you’ve all heard about, some raw providers were recently arrested in Japan. That includes the one who was providing this show, but Baka-Wolf is promising episode 7 coming up soon.

Escape is easy… a good night’s sleep is hard. At least for Wil.

I’m not going to berate you this week, because I’m late anyway! Lay off me, it was my birthday!

Well, those villagers sure seemed nasty, but turns out none of them made Wil squeal like a pig, just locked them in a basement with a convenient window to get out of, and boxes to stand on to making reaching said window just a little easier. Thanks, guys.

Getting out of the basement is only the beginning; fortunately, Benedict has arrived to make the rest of the escape easier, provided Allison doesn’t brain him with a shovel first. A couple strokes of luck later and the crew are hiding out with Benedict’s new friend Fiona at her house. She’s prepared to harbor them, provided they agree to sneak her out to the capital to meet this Owen Nihito guy. Why? She’s Princess Francesca, the last surviving member of the murdered royal family. Those of you in the pool, you owe me (and Atarashii Prelude’s Shin) money.

That night, while Wil shares a bed with Allison’s sprawling limbs, Benedict and Fiona share a little moment. She’s nervous about revealing herself, so she asks Major Kerr if people treat him differently now that he’s somewhat famous. The answer is a disappointing yes, but he says it just makes him more glad to have friends like Allison and Wil who don’t — and she can count on the same from him. Nice words from a guy you barely know, but he does have a trustworthy face, no?

Escape proves easy once again, thanks to Benedict’s brilliant Operation Winter Camouflage, a.k.a. Operation Let’s Get Under A White Sheet and Walk Through The Snow. Primitive, yes. Silly, almost certainly. Marginally effective — surprisingly so. Marginally. When they’re found out, though, it’s all over. Or is it?

Fiona/Francesca asserts herself to the village leader, and — surprise again — he turns out to be cool with it. See, he knows. Or at least, he knows that her grandfather thought she was Francesca. Strangely, he seems a bit skeptical, but maybe I’m reading too much into it.

Fun Facts

• No conflict in the Allison and Lillia universe that looks awful at the end of an episode is really all that bad at the beginning of the next one. It’s like Geass that way.
• Allison is all to keen to sleep in Wil’s bed, but not to let him have his half, or his blankets.
• Backup plans are useful: Operation Winter Camouflage may not have been great, the crew were able to quickly move on to Operation Chewbacca-style Fake Prisoner and, when that too failed, Operation Punch That Guy In The Gut.
• It appears that Benedict has found himself a lady.

Next week: showdown with Lenin Owen

Will there be a twist? Who knows, this storyline has breezed by without a lot of real conflict. Things have fallen into place fairly easily. Complain if you will about a too-conveniently-placed window, or villagers who let our heroes go without a fight. But to me those bear a strong resemblance to Rollo conveniently Geassing Suzaku at the moment that LeDouche gets written into a hole he can’t mua-ha-ha his way out of.

In a parallel with the last arc, Wil gets a gun (Benedict confiscates it from Fiona when he starts to get scared she’ll try to assassinate Nihito), but this time he knows firsthand how difficult it is to use one on a human being. I’m sure this will be a major factor, but what else is going to happen when Fiona announces herself to the world? There are enough questions waiting to be answered that the climax to this short arc should be a winner.

I return, quite late, to find blissmo hasn’t killed me just yet! Read on for a past-due pair of plots!

Episode 4

Of course there’s an obligatory pool episode in every series, but wait a second, kids. This is Itazura na Kiss, a humble girls’ show, not a fanservice-packed harem. But Kotoko does cover that one strange fetish, that of the school swimsuit. I often find myself asking: is it real, or is it just an anime thing? This is one of those cases.

At any rate, she doesn’t bother with buying a fancy or sexful swimsuit because she only has eyes for Naoki, and well, who’s gonna see her there anyway?

HA! Of course, he shows, with his obnoxious little brother Yuki. It’s no accident, though — of course meddling Ma Irie thinks a co-ed trip to the pool would be awesome. Naoki isn’t interested, though let it be known that he’s taken an opportunity to show off his chiseled manliness. His little beast brother, while trying to bother Kotoko for a monstrous “class project” (in which he chronicles her life with belittling comments and rude pictures), manages to almost drown himself. You can probably guess what’s next, but of course the savior he never wished for is Kotoko herself. And she doesn’t even stop with mouth-to-mouth. She graciously takes him for a ride on the giant water slide.

Instant Karma takes over, and she gets a plot contrivance leg cramp. But not only is she saved, she gets a foot massage out of it! Go Kotoko! She then even manages to sabotage Yuki’s little project when she finds it, but Naoki once again ends the episode on an a-hole note with his harshest teasing yet.

Episode 5

Kotoko the Lifesaver has final exams. While attempting to study — attempting being the operative word — Kotoko and her fellow class F friends run into a roadblock. It appears they’re studying math, but one way or another they don’t get it. So Kotoko takes a problem to Naoki for help. And pretty soon, there’s an out-of-control spiral that leads to Prodigal Irie tutoring the entirety of Class F.

In the midst of all this, we’re treated to an almost tender, very nearly vulnerable moment from Naoki, who can’t seem to get his mind around why Kotoko tries so hard even though she’s doomed to fail.

As thanks, the miscreants make him a horrific effigy of Kotoko (that looks more like Jinko than her, oddly). Kotoko herself wants to thank him too, and she even gets a part-time job waitressing at a noodle shop to facilitate it, in spite of how embarrassed she’d be if Naoki found that out. Problem is, she has a lapse of brainpower and buys a weird new-age health bracelet for the stiff-shouldered Naoki. Of course he’s not too fond of it.

When Ma Irie gives her a picture frame and suggests that a picture of Kotoko and Naoki should grace it, all are surprised when he agrees. But at the last split second of this cute moment, he lets it out that he saw her working at the fast-food noodle place and the Kodak moment turns into a Francis Bacon painting.

Thoughts

If you’re a cynical type, you might think Kotoko’s being clever by cozying up to the Yuki-monster, but really she’s just dopily nice and she feels bad for such a horrible creature. Well, good for her anyways, she always ends up being the bigger person. But she proves why she’s in Class F when she falls gullibly for the freaking Q-Ray bracelet. I had a teacher in art school who wore one, and I can assure you that if it does anything at all, it proves that you’re either a new-age space cadet or certifiably batshit insane.

But in spite of herself, Kotoko is making headway. Saving Yuki’s life was one of the best things she could have done — he’s a harder, brattier nut to crack than Naoki himself. But the pattern of Naoki warming up gradually and then being a collosal dick at the end of every episode just won’t let up.

The animation still sucks, but story-wise this show is still far ahead of its nearest competitor, the more bizarre but rarely funny (IMHO) Special A. Sometimes Kotoko’s such a dunce you just wanna shake her, but she’s still a great underdog hero.

Never trust small-town folk! A lesson learned from the best show you ungrateful curs aren’t watching!

The Closed Forest

Well, A&L totally skipped over the school portion of Wil’s life, and if you watch enough anime you’re probably thinking you dodged a bullet there. Enough school, people! Not to mention, I’m sure Wil is exceptionally boring at school.

Onward! Wil does get to do some extracurricular studying over winter break, funded by Allison, in a country called Ikstova (a thinly veiled Russia). But just as he gets off the bus and starts admiring the scenery, he’s kidnapped by a group of big ugly mugs who insist they “aren’t anyone suspicious.“

The head kidnapper reveals her identity — it’s Allison, who orchestrated the whole thing to get a little Wil time for herself. She’s in Ikstova for a joint military exercise with the Sou Beil folks (including Lt. Ker, who’s now world-famous Major Ker, having unwittingly taken the credit for ending the war). But as she and Wil jaunt off for a spot of tea, they’re caught in a nasty snowstorm.

They take refuge in a small village, but the eerie strains of Dueling Banjos start to play as soon as they roll into town. The suspicious villagers begin arming themselves, and before Allison and Wil know what hit them, a seemingly kind old lady slips a roofy in their tea.

Fortunately, Benedict has been worrying about them out in the blizzard, and he’s on their trail, but he’s derailed as well when he meets a very strange girl named Fiona outside the village.

Poor Allison

A recurring theme in this episode found Allison attempting to ask Wil to move in with her in Roxche’s capital city after he graduates. Of course, that’s a heavy question with a little more implication than “roommate,” or at least it seems that way from her flustered inability to ask it. The first time she tries, she gives up. The second time, they hit the blizzard. And the last, when she finally manages to get it out, she turns to find Wil out cold from the drugged tea. What does she see in Wil, who’s about as interesting as a head of iceberg lettuce? I dunno, but seeing a bold and confident character like her get all wound up and unable to speak is super charming. Wil is obviously a little more typical anime, being so doltish he can’t grasp what’s going on.

The Royalty Story

Shin has a theory that Fiona is going to be an Anastasia type character. The entire royal family of Ikstova was murdered mysteriously some time ago, and Fiona gets jumpy and sad around a picture of politician Owen Nihito. I’m betting on something similar, but I really have nothing useful to add. Even if that’s not the case, though, this story should have a nice element of mystery to it, so I’m looking forward. Seems like the pace is really quick, so I’m guessing they have a lot of material to get through. That might sacrifice depth, but at least we won’t be bored.

You know, the three of us who watch this.